maskitheclown (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
maskitheclown) wrote2010-09-19 03:37 pm
maskitheclown) wrote2010-09-19 03:37 pm
Entry tags:
Sanity is overrated
This was supposed to be just a Viking!Bob picspam. But as I was arranging the pics I kept thinking about the Viking!Bob/Bard!Patrick fic that I'll never have the time to write, and decided to sort of summarize it here. With photos. (Majority of the photos are click to make bigger because I reduced them all to 300px W, but they're not particularly revolutionary anyway :) )
*
At first I thought I'd have Pete be the king, but I just really wanted him to do the lyrics. So I put him and Patrick muscially together. And the court goes to Gabe. (Hey, people who settled in Ireland came through Spain, your argument is invalid.)
It starts in Ireland, year cca 1000, where Pete and Patrick travel around with their other artsy friends and stay in courts in exchange for songs, as they did back then. (See, I know that huge book on the history of Ireland would come in handy some day)
*
Gabe, with his wife Victoria and their boytoy William, is their BFF king with whom they spend most of their time.
They have crazy parties together and mostly they're not in war with anyone because they are surrounded by friendly lands aka people who drink just as much.
*
In Vikingland (I dunno, somewhere) Bob is a farmer (as most of them were). Though his biggest love is playing drums (which internet assures me Vikings had). He lives on a farm and every autumn, when all the other farmers kill some animals because they can't feed them, Bob tries to save all his.
He lives alone, which is very unusual for vikingland but for obv reasons I don't want his whole fing family there. Same goes for Brian.
He's friends with Spencer and Brian.
*
Spencer came to him one day because he wanted to learn to play drums too, but his main job (aside from farming, duh) is shoe making :)
Spencer also lives with his, um, farmhelps, Jon, who's pretty awesome with animals, and Ryan, the little viking that could. Ryan helps them... lift heavy stuff.
Um, no, wait, wrong one...
There. Much better. ...
Bob is skeptical. But Spencer is an awesome drummer so he doesn't care. (This is a good place to mention, Vikings didn't much care if you were gay, they even had gods who were homosexuals, as long as you got married and reproduced. If you tried to avoid marriage, you were penalized *snicker* ... Ehm, anyway. Also, tops they were ok with, bottoms they mocked. This doesn't happen in my story. I mean, they do keep it private, because I can only relinquish so much realism, but they don't get called on not reproducing and no one is mocked for bottoming omg.)
Back to Spencer and Bob. So now sometimes they have drum-offs that the whole village gathers to listen to.
*
This is where my only-somewhat-good knowledge of history doesn't kick in.
Vikings did have slaves, and they did get them via raids amongst other things.
But I think Bob would flip if he had a slave, so it's gonna be a series of unfortunate events :P
Say that after a really sucky winter, the king wants to go loot a bit in Ireland and decides to attack Gabe's land.
Normally that is a sport for the rich, but they need extra rowers and they recruit Bob, amongst others.
Bob is not happy because he needs to start working on his farm but Brian says he'll look after it until he's back. (their raids lasted a few days or weeks, I'm going for days)
Meanwhile in Ireland.
Gabe is totally not prepared for what's coming and in the end that's a really good thing because it's what ends up saving their lives (like I'm actually gonna have them killed, wut).
Vikings take all their valuables, whatever that may have been back then. (Bob waits - in my head leaning on the ship and having a smoke - as the others loot, he doesn't give a shit.)
When they do come back though, they have some slaves with them.
I want it to be Brendon and Patrick, not only for OTP purposes but also for totally realistic reasons that are too depressing for this spam
*
Pete tried to come with Patrick but they wouldn't let him :((
Anyway, while on the ship back, Patrick is being a massive dick towards everyone and the king's posse are planning to just throw him overboard.
Bob stops them, and they say fine, whatever, he's your responsibility now.
Bob asks him really nicely to please shut the fuck up and not get them both killed.
Patrick mainly listens. He glares a lot and pouts, but then Brendon is scared shitless and Patrick takes care of him so he makes it into Bob's vikingland alive.
The second they are there though, they drag Brendon away, and Patrick explodes all over Bob, and not in the good, life affirming way.
So Bob tells him to calm down and goes to see what's going on and yeah, they are giving Brendon away to the highest bidder.
He doesn't have a lot, and Brian and Spencer and Ryan certainly don't but they all pitch in together and manage to buy him.
Patrick has no idea why he thinks that's a good thing.
Brian is officially Brendon's owner, but as soon as the purchase is made Brian frees Brendon, because they could do that. All the vikings collectively headdesk but there's nothing they can do because their legal system is mainly honor-based. By which I mean their most valuable "possession" is their honor.
Bob tries to do the same for Patrick but since he didn't pay for him (and now couldn't, not without risking becoming a slave himself) the other vikings are basically "either you take him, or we will."
Bob promises that he'll save as much trading products as he can so he can buy and free Patrick as soon as possible, but there's nothing he can do right now.
And, even though Brendon is free, he needs to be with someone or he'll go into debt and become a slave again, or he'll die. Swimming back to Ireland is not an option.
He ends up with Brian. (I'll give you a moment to imagine that clusterfuck.)
*
Bob takes Patrick home.
Home in Vikingland is just one room and Bob tells Patrick "you sleep there, I sleep here, if you kill me in my sleep I'll kill you back."
His hands are all bloody from the rowing and he's not a happy puppy, and then Patrick finds his drums and starts messing with them and Bob kinda wants to kill him anyway.
Except Patrick isn't just messing with them, he's actually trying to figure them out.
Bob cleans his hands and Patrick stares at the drums a lot.
Mostly, Bob wants to go to sleep, but he has to get the chickens to their coops and feed the goats (oh yeah, GOATS) and water the fucking veggies so he takes Patrick with him to show him.
Patrick is not impressed.
So, life for Bob doesn't exactly get easier. Because now he still has to do everything around the farm, mostly himself, and he also has to make sure Patrick doesn't escape or kill anyone. And he didn't even want a fucking slave in the first place.
Patrick spends a lot of time being a total asshole. (and hey, for good reason)
Bob tolerates it up to a point. Like, he doesn't care if Patrick does as little as he can get away with, as long as it doesn't affect Bob personally.
Patrick only sees Bob pissed once, but he doesn't really want to do it again. So he starts trying to keep his mouth shut.
Only by that point Bob doesn't really like it when Patrick doesn't talk. (spot a trope, yeah)
And then one day by accident Patrick finds out how other slaves are treated and for the first time since Bob stopped others from throwing him off the ship, Patrick is actually scared.
So he starts cooperating because he has clothes and food and a warm place to sleep on. And that way they might actually have enough to free him sooner.
In the meantime, Brendon and Brian and being super awkward together.
*
There's some drama with Brendon becoming BFFs with S/R/J and Brian thinking that maybe Brendon would want to live with them but Brendon just wants to play music with them and is in crush with Brian.
Also in the meantime, Gabe is rallying all the crazy motherfuckers (by which I mostly mean The Used) that he knows, and is planning a raid of his own.
*
*
*
Alas this was post St. Patrick so there are no snakes around to bite him. Maybe one comes from the past. Or from Egipt.
One day Spencer, Jon and Ryan come to visit Bob and they play all the cool instruments. Ryan plays a lyre!! (he'd fucking love it and you know it). Jon plays one of the blowing instruments. Because I can.
*
And Patrick sings. You know how this goes.
*
When they are all gone he talks to Bob about Pete and Pete's awesome poetry and Andy and Joe's crazy instruments.
Bob feels bad for him.
They kiss. (There needs to be a photo of this... but there isn't :( )
Things are weird. But at least Patrick is talking again.
He's somewhat less passive aggressive, but Bob likes it anyway.
Oh and btw, Bob would really like to touch peens with Patrick.
No, really.
So, I don't know, life goes on, and they kinda like each other, get to know each other, and they end up having sex, yay. Bob is funny and sweet and Patrick is prickly and brilliant and they somehow work.
And it's good, within the parameters of Patrick being a slave and Bob being his owner, which are pretty sucky parameters to be honest. It might not mean much between them, personally, but it does mean there's a LOT of things Patrick can't do.
There's angst.
And Brendon sometimes holds Brian's hand when it's just the few of them together.
He seems pretty damn happy and Patrick doesn't want to but he envies him sometimes.
And Bob knows it, and there's more angst.
So of course, because I'm nothing if not dramatic dammit, two things happen at once.
1. After the harvest Bob does the numbers and figures out he has enough to properly purchase Patrick.
And since the next local Thing (big assembly where they make decisions and pass laws and such, The Thing is its real name) is coming next week, he decides to do it then.
He lets Patrick know and he's happy that Patrick is happy but he's also sad because after the Thing there will be trading ships going away and Patrick and Brendon will probably be leaving with them.
And 2. the day of the Thing comes and Bob has just bought Patrick and is about to free him when (SUSPENSE) Gabe attacks.
Only they just have one ship and the Vikings are really not impressed.
Gabe prefers to talk anyway.
So they all come off the ship and start TALKING and Patrick hugs Pete a lot,
and Bob feels sucky but he knows he has to free Patrick before anyone does anything stupid (because if you killed a slave that didn't count as murder and being in public like that was bad)
so he tells them all to shut up and he frees Patrick and then he goes home because he's sick of all the talking.
He's home feeding the chickens when he hears Patrick talking to someone and coming closer and turns around just in time to hear Patrick say something like "and this is my home" and point at his house.
Pete and Bob stare at him a lot because wtf.
*
Patrick blushes and doesn't look directly at Bob and Pete kisses him on the head and leaves them to talk while he abuses the goats.
Bob and Patrick make up and make out and there totally are "I love you"s because I say so.
That night there's a big party, because vikings are good hosts even with people they previously robbed, and Bob would like nothing more than to stay at home having sex with his free new boyfriend thank you very much, but there has to be music and he is the drummer. So they play, Spencer, Ryan, Jon and Bob; Patrick sings Pete's poems and Brendon plays several instruments and sings Ryan's poems and The Used are setting things on fire mostly.
*
*
*
*
*
At the end of the night, everyone is sleeping everywhere, but Patrick sleeps next to Bob, for which there's also no pic.
*
My favorite ending is that Patrick just stays, no "I'm gonna go with my people" and big goodbye only so he can jump of the ship and swim back to Bob, none of that. He just stays and Brendon stays with Brian and Pete really likes Viking!lady Ashlee who btw is the king's daughter so no way could that go wrong.
*
*
And if they ever want they can totally visit Gabe's magical kingdom all together.
Super sideline note: they can all understand each other, yep. Because they speak the queen's english, IDC. :P
(basically everything I mention up there that doesn't have a disclaimer, has been fact-checked, it's just possible that the fact I checked were wrong. Feel free to let me know :) )
*
At first I thought I'd have Pete be the king, but I just really wanted him to do the lyrics. So I put him and Patrick muscially together. And the court goes to Gabe. (Hey, people who settled in Ireland came through Spain, your argument is invalid.)
It starts in Ireland, year cca 1000, where Pete and Patrick travel around with their other artsy friends and stay in courts in exchange for songs, as they did back then. (See, I know that huge book on the history of Ireland would come in handy some day)
*
Gabe, with his wife Victoria and their boytoy William, is their BFF king with whom they spend most of their time.
They have crazy parties together and mostly they're not in war with anyone because they are surrounded by friendly lands aka people who drink just as much.
*
In Vikingland (I dunno, somewhere) Bob is a farmer (as most of them were). Though his biggest love is playing drums (which internet assures me Vikings had). He lives on a farm and every autumn, when all the other farmers kill some animals because they can't feed them, Bob tries to save all his.
He lives alone, which is very unusual for vikingland but for obv reasons I don't want his whole fing family there. Same goes for Brian.
He's friends with Spencer and Brian.
*
Spencer came to him one day because he wanted to learn to play drums too, but his main job (aside from farming, duh) is shoe making :)
Spencer also lives with his, um, farmhelps, Jon, who's pretty awesome with animals, and Ryan, the little viking that could. Ryan helps them... lift heavy stuff.
Um, no, wait, wrong one...
There. Much better. ...
Bob is skeptical. But Spencer is an awesome drummer so he doesn't care. (This is a good place to mention, Vikings didn't much care if you were gay, they even had gods who were homosexuals, as long as you got married and reproduced. If you tried to avoid marriage, you were penalized *snicker* ... Ehm, anyway. Also, tops they were ok with, bottoms they mocked. This doesn't happen in my story. I mean, they do keep it private, because I can only relinquish so much realism, but they don't get called on not reproducing and no one is mocked for bottoming omg.)
Back to Spencer and Bob. So now sometimes they have drum-offs that the whole village gathers to listen to.
*
This is where my only-somewhat-good knowledge of history doesn't kick in.
Vikings did have slaves, and they did get them via raids amongst other things.
But I think Bob would flip if he had a slave, so it's gonna be a series of unfortunate events :P
Say that after a really sucky winter, the king wants to go loot a bit in Ireland and decides to attack Gabe's land.
Normally that is a sport for the rich, but they need extra rowers and they recruit Bob, amongst others.
Bob is not happy because he needs to start working on his farm but Brian says he'll look after it until he's back. (their raids lasted a few days or weeks, I'm going for days)
Meanwhile in Ireland.
Gabe is totally not prepared for what's coming and in the end that's a really good thing because it's what ends up saving their lives (like I'm actually gonna have them killed, wut).
Vikings take all their valuables, whatever that may have been back then. (Bob waits - in my head leaning on the ship and having a smoke - as the others loot, he doesn't give a shit.)
When they do come back though, they have some slaves with them.
I want it to be Brendon and Patrick, not only for OTP purposes but also for totally realistic reasons that are too depressing for this spam
*
Pete tried to come with Patrick but they wouldn't let him :((
Anyway, while on the ship back, Patrick is being a massive dick towards everyone and the king's posse are planning to just throw him overboard.
Bob stops them, and they say fine, whatever, he's your responsibility now.
Bob asks him really nicely to please shut the fuck up and not get them both killed.
Patrick mainly listens. He glares a lot and pouts, but then Brendon is scared shitless and Patrick takes care of him so he makes it into Bob's vikingland alive.
The second they are there though, they drag Brendon away, and Patrick explodes all over Bob, and not in the good, life affirming way.
So Bob tells him to calm down and goes to see what's going on and yeah, they are giving Brendon away to the highest bidder.
He doesn't have a lot, and Brian and Spencer and Ryan certainly don't but they all pitch in together and manage to buy him.
Patrick has no idea why he thinks that's a good thing.
Brian is officially Brendon's owner, but as soon as the purchase is made Brian frees Brendon, because they could do that. All the vikings collectively headdesk but there's nothing they can do because their legal system is mainly honor-based. By which I mean their most valuable "possession" is their honor.
Bob tries to do the same for Patrick but since he didn't pay for him (and now couldn't, not without risking becoming a slave himself) the other vikings are basically "either you take him, or we will."
Bob promises that he'll save as much trading products as he can so he can buy and free Patrick as soon as possible, but there's nothing he can do right now.
And, even though Brendon is free, he needs to be with someone or he'll go into debt and become a slave again, or he'll die. Swimming back to Ireland is not an option.
He ends up with Brian. (I'll give you a moment to imagine that clusterfuck.)
*
Bob takes Patrick home.
Home in Vikingland is just one room and Bob tells Patrick "you sleep there, I sleep here, if you kill me in my sleep I'll kill you back."
His hands are all bloody from the rowing and he's not a happy puppy, and then Patrick finds his drums and starts messing with them and Bob kinda wants to kill him anyway.
Except Patrick isn't just messing with them, he's actually trying to figure them out.
Bob cleans his hands and Patrick stares at the drums a lot.
Mostly, Bob wants to go to sleep, but he has to get the chickens to their coops and feed the goats (oh yeah, GOATS) and water the fucking veggies so he takes Patrick with him to show him.
Patrick is not impressed.
So, life for Bob doesn't exactly get easier. Because now he still has to do everything around the farm, mostly himself, and he also has to make sure Patrick doesn't escape or kill anyone. And he didn't even want a fucking slave in the first place.
Patrick spends a lot of time being a total asshole. (and hey, for good reason)
Bob tolerates it up to a point. Like, he doesn't care if Patrick does as little as he can get away with, as long as it doesn't affect Bob personally.
Patrick only sees Bob pissed once, but he doesn't really want to do it again. So he starts trying to keep his mouth shut.
Only by that point Bob doesn't really like it when Patrick doesn't talk. (spot a trope, yeah)
And then one day by accident Patrick finds out how other slaves are treated and for the first time since Bob stopped others from throwing him off the ship, Patrick is actually scared.
So he starts cooperating because he has clothes and food and a warm place to sleep on. And that way they might actually have enough to free him sooner.
In the meantime, Brendon and Brian and being super awkward together.
*
There's some drama with Brendon becoming BFFs with S/R/J and Brian thinking that maybe Brendon would want to live with them but Brendon just wants to play music with them and is in crush with Brian.
Also in the meantime, Gabe is rallying all the crazy motherfuckers (by which I mostly mean The Used) that he knows, and is planning a raid of his own.
*
*
*
Alas this was post St. Patrick so there are no snakes around to bite him. Maybe one comes from the past. Or from Egipt.
One day Spencer, Jon and Ryan come to visit Bob and they play all the cool instruments. Ryan plays a lyre!! (he'd fucking love it and you know it). Jon plays one of the blowing instruments. Because I can.
*
And Patrick sings. You know how this goes.
*
When they are all gone he talks to Bob about Pete and Pete's awesome poetry and Andy and Joe's crazy instruments.
Bob feels bad for him.
They kiss. (There needs to be a photo of this... but there isn't :( )
Things are weird. But at least Patrick is talking again.
He's somewhat less passive aggressive, but Bob likes it anyway.
Oh and btw, Bob would really like to touch peens with Patrick.
No, really.
So, I don't know, life goes on, and they kinda like each other, get to know each other, and they end up having sex, yay. Bob is funny and sweet and Patrick is prickly and brilliant and they somehow work.
And it's good, within the parameters of Patrick being a slave and Bob being his owner, which are pretty sucky parameters to be honest. It might not mean much between them, personally, but it does mean there's a LOT of things Patrick can't do.
There's angst.
And Brendon sometimes holds Brian's hand when it's just the few of them together.
He seems pretty damn happy and Patrick doesn't want to but he envies him sometimes.
And Bob knows it, and there's more angst.
So of course, because I'm nothing if not dramatic dammit, two things happen at once.
1. After the harvest Bob does the numbers and figures out he has enough to properly purchase Patrick.
And since the next local Thing (big assembly where they make decisions and pass laws and such, The Thing is its real name) is coming next week, he decides to do it then.
He lets Patrick know and he's happy that Patrick is happy but he's also sad because after the Thing there will be trading ships going away and Patrick and Brendon will probably be leaving with them.
And 2. the day of the Thing comes and Bob has just bought Patrick and is about to free him when (SUSPENSE) Gabe attacks.
Only they just have one ship and the Vikings are really not impressed.
Gabe prefers to talk anyway.
So they all come off the ship and start TALKING and Patrick hugs Pete a lot,
and Bob feels sucky but he knows he has to free Patrick before anyone does anything stupid (because if you killed a slave that didn't count as murder and being in public like that was bad)
so he tells them all to shut up and he frees Patrick and then he goes home because he's sick of all the talking.
He's home feeding the chickens when he hears Patrick talking to someone and coming closer and turns around just in time to hear Patrick say something like "and this is my home" and point at his house.
Pete and Bob stare at him a lot because wtf.
*
Patrick blushes and doesn't look directly at Bob and Pete kisses him on the head and leaves them to talk while he abuses the goats.
Bob and Patrick make up and make out and there totally are "I love you"s because I say so.
That night there's a big party, because vikings are good hosts even with people they previously robbed, and Bob would like nothing more than to stay at home having sex with his free new boyfriend thank you very much, but there has to be music and he is the drummer. So they play, Spencer, Ryan, Jon and Bob; Patrick sings Pete's poems and Brendon plays several instruments and sings Ryan's poems and The Used are setting things on fire mostly.
*
*
*
*
*
At the end of the night, everyone is sleeping everywhere, but Patrick sleeps next to Bob, for which there's also no pic.
*
My favorite ending is that Patrick just stays, no "I'm gonna go with my people" and big goodbye only so he can jump of the ship and swim back to Bob, none of that. He just stays and Brendon stays with Brian and Pete really likes Viking!lady Ashlee who btw is the king's daughter so no way could that go wrong.
*
*
And if they ever want they can totally visit Gabe's magical kingdom all together.
Super sideline note: they can all understand each other, yep. Because they speak the queen's english, IDC. :P
(basically everything I mention up there that doesn't have a disclaimer, has been fact-checked, it's just possible that the fact I checked were wrong. Feel free to let me know :) )