maskitheclown | Shipping 2

This is like my own personal version of "I ship it" on fandom_secrets, complete with images and stories. I should warn you that you will probably be less then happy about some of these. But hey, welcome to my dirty mind.

I already had a post like this, about a year ago on my other LJ but it's flocked for sanity reasons, as will be this one. I am copy/pasting all the bandom related stuff from there though (which is why there might be overexplaining of stuff you already know, at some point), and at the bottom is the list of all the other ships I mentioned there.

PATD OT4

I don't care about the breakup, in my mind, they meet every weekend and have BBQ and make out a lot.
The reason I ship them is simple logic :) If you look for "evidence" clearly every combination of pairings here is possible, which leaves us with only one option... they're all doing it. Together. And if a picture of it ever comes out, my brain will fry itself away.
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Patrick/Bob

Have I not talked about this enough? :)

Bob/Spencer

Talked about this one recently. Basically it goes like this. Spencer gets (buys or is given) an ex fighting dog. Abused and mean and all that. And Spencer wants to help him, and wants to do it right. And since he's not the spontaneous hugs and kisses type like Brendon is, he needs a plan. And help. So he calls someone who calls someone who calls Bob. (This is all canon based, not AU.) There's a lot of mutual respect, working together and getting to know each other in this one and it builds slow but is really pretty.

Gabe/Pete

Yeah, it's true, I ship these two with a complete disregard for the entire genre of crack :(

I'm not even sure they would be good for each other. I think the reason Pete and Ashlee work is because her bullshit is different than his bullshit and so they balance each other out. So I'm not sure how these two would function in the long run. But Gabe took care of Pete when Pete was beaten up. And then wouldn't say what it was about even though he's seriously the BIGGEST gossip I ever say in showbiz, jfc. He said once that he "asked around about Lady Gaga because she's from NJ but no one's ever heard about her." *facepalm* But he kept Pete's secret, and not for legal reasons only, but because he said that was Pete's thing to say.

I think sometimes Gabe would talk about meaning of life long into the night and Pete would try to kill him.
And then other times Pete would do something incredibly self destructive and Gabe wouldn't get it at all.
BUT since they both really like being the center of attention, I have no doubt we'd get a sex tape sooner or later.

None of which makes them sound great together, right? And yet I think they'd work, somehow. Because Gabe really needs someone to take care of, and Pete really needs to be taken care of, and they would be good for each other's egos - reducing them. And also Patrick would explode :D

I don't have a particular story for this one, just, everything that is now minus Ashlee, because divorces are sad.
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Bad quality is bad, but check out the colors. MFEO or what?

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Pete/Ashlee/Patrick

Look. Patrick said he was there when Bronx was made. This is all. Canon.

You make me sad, Internet. Not a single photo of the three of them together? *sigh*

Brendon/Ben

I love Ben. He's a character from Dark Angel, a fleeting one. He is a genetically modified half-human half-cat who was trained to kill since the day he was born. As a consequence, he turned into a psycho-killer who captures his victims, then gives them a knife/gun and promises them freedom if they manage to track him down and kill him. Then he lets them go and hunts them. Of course, he always wins the game.

Brendon is early era Brendon in my head.

I really don't want it to be like Mercy but Ben does stalk Brendon. He sees him... I don't care, on TV, in concert, after a gig, somewhere, and is intrigued by Brendon's cheerfulness and easy hugs and jumpiness and his silences and focus. Brendon moves around a lot, touring and so on, but Ben doesn't really care, it's not like he has anything better to do, so he follows him around.

Then Brendon starts noticing him, in the street and on the concerts and sometimes he doesn't even know what city they're playing in but the stalker dude is always there. But he never comes to meet and greets and Brendon isn't receiving much weird mail, and the guy never even tried to approach him so he's not sure what to think.

And then Ben has a really really bad day and he wants to kidnap Brendon but ends up kissing him instead and Brendon is really not pleased because the guy is hot but he doesn't just swap spit with anyone thank you very much.

But Ben finds him a few nights later, at some weird hour, and kinda-sorta apologizes and Brendon starts going out at similarly weird hours, hoping to talk to him again. And they start talking.
It's not very happy. In that Brendon has issues of his own and Ben's are way to heavy for anyone to handle and they try to understand each other but don't always manage. And there's the little issue of Ben being a killer that Brendon doesn't know yet.

I have no idea how this would end. Because, with Ben being what he is, he can get away with the whole killing thing and maybe even get better, or, well, stop killing :) But Brendon is pretty nice guy and I'm not sure he would just be ok with it. Then again, Ben WAS created to be a killing machine and Brendon could totally understand how that would drive a guy a bit nuts... There's hope there. Just not a lot of rainbows and kittens.

Dean/Ryan

Ah, this one. It started because I really liked Dean and I really liked Ryan and I was like, wth not, let them make out. But it got bigger than me. This is one of those pairings I have trouble really creating.

Ryan is an artist. Thin and long and used to paint on his face and wear a rose vest with actual roses and now he wears your grandmother's curtains and does it unironically. He likes big words and wordgames and he's a cliche of everything arts ever. (He actually forgets to pay his bills and gets his water etc turned off.)
Dean would laugh in his face.

And Ryan would spend five minutes with Dean and decide the guy hasn't read a book in his life and doesn't know shit about music and would go off and stare at the wall rather than talk to him.
(You may have noticed how the fact that one is real and the other one isn't, isn't really a problem for me :) )

So, I came up with a plan. Dean is on a hunt somewhere, alone because Sam is in some other town getting some and Dean thought he could handle this alone. but, like, a storm happens (It's a freak storm, ok? I don't care about your earth logic and weather reports.) and he gets to this cabin (it's a hugeass cabin, Ryan is a diva after all) and they're basically snowed/stormed in for a week but Ryan has food and Dean lets Sam know he's okay so they just have to wait it out. And then they bond. Mostly they bond on daddy-issues and women and 60's music though not exactly over WHICH 60's music. And since they are are stuck there for a week, they get closer and learn that not everything is as it seems at first glance and there's pretty, shiny, musical love and lots of traveling and sex in the impala.

All of this of course is SPN AU from the end of S2 because I don't want Sam and Dean's relationship deteriorated tyvm.

Bob/Ronon

This one has been written! And it was awesome and I wouldn't mind more :) But I do love this pairing. They would be dry and smirky and badass together. They would compare scars and make out in dark corners and grow beards together. *flail* That's all. They are amazing :)

Bob/Draco

OMG I don't know. And you haven't even seen the next one yet. Look. Bob would totally not go for Draco's "I am awesome" bull, and Draco would be like "Um, you could be a rockstar. Why aren't you? Also, shave," and Bob would give him the finger. But the angry needy sex would be hot like burning.

This is after school but without epilogue Draco. And my brain has him looking for filthy sex in all the wrong places. Which is how he meets Bob, who is there doing sound for someone and likes bathroom blowjobs just fine but isn't into humiliating anyone by calling them worthless or anything so he does it his own way and it turns out Draco likes it.
After that, Draco comes back for it and it's ok but Bob tells him he's leaving in two days and Draco is like "I'll pay you to fuck me for as long as we like" and Bob just rolls his eyes and says "Yeah, my dick is awesome, but you should really get some help."
Draco comes back tomorrow for some more and says "I'll pay you, really," and Bob mentions family in Chicago and life outside the bathroom.
And so a few months later Draco shows up in Chicago and knocks on Bob's door and Bob is SO not impressed.
It goes on from there with a lot of WTF and get away from me you stalker and would you just shave already!? ... It's pretty epic in my head.

Bob/Draco/Snape

Yes yes. Shush.

This one is actually pretty different. It has Draco and Snape already Together and they also work on Potions. Yep. Something happens to Bob (as per usual), he's hexed by someone for something, pretty badly, and Snape is called to help. (Bob isn't a wizard, I dunno why, I just like him regular?) and they basically move in together (I don't care if it's in Britain or US) to help him and of course spend a lot of time snarking and um, talking, and stuff happens.
LoL, I'm feeling so defensive about this one because I think most Bob and Harry Potter fans will have an issue with it because everyone wants good things for Bob and it would take a lot to say Draco or Snape are good for anyone. But all I can say is, it works for me.

Draco/Chuck

(Talking about early S1 Chuck here because I never watched beyond that, and also I hear he's in love with Blair which doesn't suit me :) )

OMG favorite :D They would be epically bad together. For each other a bit, but mostly for everyone else :D They would meet in some fancy club or party with a lot of fancy people and they would both think they were the coolest thing there. They would start to talk and neither of them would ever say what they actually mean but they would totally get the other's super secret language. I imagine their sex would involve a lot of serious injuries. To their egos as well as bodies.
I think the point of some mellowing out would be when Chuck found out Draco was a wizard and went on a "Wow! You could be the king of the world!" rant, and Draco told him about his life.

Bo/Kenzi

For those who don't know, Bo and Kenzi are characters from Lost girl. Bo is succubus (feeds on people's souls through sex), a fae, and Kenzi is human, a pickpocket :) Together they fight crime :)
I was just agreeing with my friend about shipping these two mostly platonically (is a word). Even though Bo is succubus. Kenzi is just so sweet and lovable and Bo is actually a really good friend and they like each other so much. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE it when other fae say to Bo "is this your human" and "are you claiming her?" YES! YES SHE IS! So, it's not that I ship them just as friends, I just don't see any sexual tension at all. Damn. But I'm sure we'll get there. In the meantime, hetero (though actually omnisexual because Bo will have sex with anything and anyone that moves) lifemates.

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Bo/Mary

This one would require some time travel.

So, in case you don't know, Mary is mother of Sam and Dean from Supernatural. She was born in 1954 and died in 1983. We have several time travel incidents where we meet her in her late teens and early 20's. She is also a hunter.
So, time travel. She is dragged into our time by the ever so annoying angels and she is here to stay. She decides to go to uni (it's SPN canon that people can get into Stanford law with forged papers so I'm not worried about this, she can go to any school she wants to : ) )
She has hunting in her blood so she can't just keep out of it when strange things start happening on campus and she starts investigating. Bo is there doing the same thing and Mary mistakes her for a hunter. There is angst and adorableness and talking and then they make out in the car and Mary finds out what Bo is and it kinda goes down the hill from there.
I kinda wanna make this super simple and say that because Mary switched times Bo's hunger wouldn't affect her, like with other fae, but no, it's time Bo learned to control her hunger anyway.
Then Mary tells Bo about herself and Bo is like "Seriously? And you were freaked by me!? The fucking ANGELS brought you here?"
And then there's the meeting of kids. Which... Bo and Dean. Just take a moment to imagine that conversation.
Sam would probably be way more understanding.

Kahlan/Cara

I really liked this show. The ladies kicked ass all over the place and I LOVE fighting scenes with knives in general, but especially when it's the said kickass ladies using them.
I guess, intro.

The show in question is Legend of the Seeker.
Kahlan is a Mother Confessor. She has the power to turn anyone into her love slave by touch, if she wants to. She can also always tell when someone is lying to her. Her job is to help the Seeker on his quest.
Cara is a Mord'Sith. They work for the Big Bad and use torture as training method. They themselves are trained the same way. When they are around 10 years old, they are taken from their homes and tortured until they completely lose touch with their emotions. The final test they have to pass is killing their own father. After being forced to work with the Seeker to save her own life, Cara stays with him instead of going back to the Big Bad.

Sadly Kahlan is in epic love with the Seeker, and I actually really like them together, but in another universe, she could be just friends with him and totally fall for Cara. Oh, and Cara is bi, and really likes Kahlan, so it's not impossible, at least from her side.

Parker/Hardison

This is basicalyl canon, and I don't mean tinhat canon, I mean real one, so I'm not gonna say anything about it. It's just the only het pairing I ship :)

Ziva/Abby

From NCIS, though I doubt there's anyone out there who doesn't know about Abby?
Ziva hits all my BDSM kinks so when I pair her up with Abby, I do it like that. Ziva doms, Abby subs, everyone is happy :) (I don't really like what they did with Ziva in the past season. She became too soft and I feel it's just so Tony would like her better. But early era Ziva? Yes please.)

Stephen/Alan

They are so cute together! Alan is adorable and doesn't really care that he didn't eat the encyclopedia and Stephen is a snob who also doesn't really care that Alan didn't eat the encyclopedia. It's funny and sweet and I want it :)

Bobby/Crowley

Talking Supernatural here :) Bobby is a grumpy old hunter, Crowley is the demon currently in charge of hell.

How is this not canon!? Crowley gave Bobby his legs back out of the pure goodness of his heart. When Bobby summoned him recently Crowley was all annoyed but he still took time to nag about how hard his work was like Bobby is his BFF! And the he refused to give him his soul. (Because he wants to keep it for himself obviously! Tiin....Haaat.) And when they kissed to seal the deal, he took a photo of it and showed it to everyone!

They would be old and grumpy together. Bobby would hunt and read and answer phones all day and Crowley would try to get hell in order and stir shit up and then they would get together and whine about how hard their day was and try not to think if they made the other's life harder with what they did earlier. And some nights they would both get a call at the same time, just by different sides, and then things would be awkward.

They would have a schedule of whose turn it is to make dinner or wash the dishes and they would argue over it a lot and Crowley would randomly set shit on fire and Bobby would throw Holy Water at his face.

They could double date with Mary and Bo. Sam and Dean would have a fit :D

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In previous post:
J2 (CW RPS)
Wincest (SPN)
Evil!Sam/Evil!Dean (SPN AU)
Sam/Dean/Andy (SPN)
Dean/Sam/bb!Dean (SPN/Gilmore Girls)
Sam/Dean/Alec (SPN/Dark Angel)
Alec/Thomas (Dark Angel/The Christmas Cottage)
Jensen/Dean (SPN/CW RPS)
Alec/Logan (Dark Angel)
Dean/Sebastian (SPN/Kuroshitsuji)
Older!Dean/Ben (SPN/Dark Angel)
bb!Dean/Tristan (Gilmore Girls)
bb!Dean/Lorelai (Gilmore Girls)
Amy/Sophia (CW RPS)
Brendon/Wolverine (crack) (Bandom/X-men)
Rodney/Ronon/John (+ all combos) (SGA)
Keller/Sam (SGA)
Keller/Teyla (SGA)
Harry/Draco/Snape (Harry Potter)
Harry/Snape (Harry Potter)
Harry/Draco (Harry Potter)
Sebastian/Ciel (Kuroshitsuji)
Sebastian/Pluto (Kuroshitsuji)
Damon/Jeremy (Vampire Diaries)

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